Standing with women to stop violence: Lilian’s story

 The physical abuse my mum received from my father forced her to leave the house and raise her four children by herself. That left a mark on me, but it has also served to protect and empower me later in life.

When I was 14, armed groups entered the region. Many innocent people lost their children. Many of my childhood friends died or simply disappeared.

One Sunday, I was working at a restaurant when a man approached me showing a gun in his hand. Grabbing me by the arm, he forced me to walk out.

I still don’t know where I got the strength from to break free and run towards my boss. She confronted and ordered that man to leave the restaurant. She changed the course of my life.

That man was able to abuse another girl that day. From then on, I became very afraid and preferred to stay home as much as possible.  

A few months later, my mum received a threat. She had been signing some documents that sought to improve the security of our community, so her name was on a list of people appointed to be killed.

My stepfather decided that we could no longer live there. My mum was unable to leave by bus with the rest of the family.

Instead, she escaped by crossing a mountain.

At the age of 20, I had my first baby, but a little bit after his birth, the baby’s father became aggressive.

I did not want my child to experience what I did as a girl, so I left and began raising him without his father’s support.

Thankfully, my family was there for me. I was raising my child with dignity.

The Ministry of Women came to our region in 2011 and invited several organisations of women to work together. As a member of one of those entities, I began serving, representing, and leading women in various capacities.

It was through the Ministry of Women that I was invited to participate in an activity facilitated by IJM. The workshop was amazing, and I fell in love with IJM’s approach!

I was so excited about it that I offered IJM Colombia my collaboration with their efforts in supporting and making women feel safe and valued.

Since then, my experience with IJM has been wonderful! IJM has filled critical spaces in our community.

At the personal level, I used to think that I had overcome certain issues in my life, but now I see that I was lacking psychosocial support to deal with emotions associated with the trauma of living in a context of pervasive violence.

IJM has been the only organisation that has cared for the burdens women carry, and for what it means to be a woman living in a violent context.

With IJM’s support, I’ve learned to support women, children, my community, and even my own family. I’ve learned to be empathetic, to listen to a neighbour or a colleague that needs to share what is happening in her life and needs hope.

IJM also helped us build the Women’s Office, which is instrumental in giving women the first attention when they need to report a case of violence. There, every woman receives guidance on where to go next.

The impact has been so beneficial, and I am deeply thankful. We were needing and crying out for this. The support that IJM has given to the women leaders in our community has been essential.

IJM has also brought institutions closer to women and to the entire community. There was a big gap between us, which caused people to have very little trust in government entities. Although there is still work to be done in that sense, the way we are coming together is amazing! 

In the future, I would love to contribute with IJM to reach women who live in rural areas with even less access to justice. Those women feel abandoned as nobody offers them assistance.

Many of them even do not know that they are experiencing violence or what they can do to prevent their children from living in a violent home or from being recruited by violent groups.

I know we can generate a change that contributes to bringing peace to our region. We will achieve it by changing the way we think and live our lives. If we offer children a good foundation, we will avoid repeating this history of violence.

I believe that the trajectory can be changed!

*Pseudonym. Images obscured to protect survivor.